Why People Hide Suicidal Thoughts: Warning Signs to Know | Ms. Sarah El Nabulsi
- Sarah El Nabulsi, M.Sc., M.A., M.A.
- Jul 4
- 4 min read
Ms. Sarah El Nabulsi, M.Sc., M.A., M.A., DHA Licensed Clinical Psychologist, joined the ladies of Kalam Nawa3em following a celebrity death that had shocked the public — a person who had appeared, by all outward measures, to be happy, successful, and unburdened by pain.
The public reaction was familiar: but there were no signs. Ms. El Nabulsi was there to address exactly that response — because in most cases of suicide, there are signs. The problem is that we do not always know what to look for, and the people who need help have often learned, across many years, exactly how to hide.
Suicidal Ideation Is Never Sudden
The first and most important thing to understand about suicide is that it does not happen without a buildup. The crisis that appears sudden from the outside has, in almost every case, been developing internally for months or years.
This is not a small distinction. When we believe that suicidal crises arrive without warning, we stop looking for the warning signs that are almost always there. We tell ourselves that nothing could have been done — when the reality is that there were likely many moments at which intervention was possible.
Suicidal ideation tends to begin passively: a persistent sense that life is not worth living, thoughts of wishing not to be here, or a growing belief that the people around the person would be better off without them. These thoughts do not typically announce themselves. They accumulate. They become habitual. And over time, what began as a passing thought can solidify into something more specific.
The reason this process is so often invisible is not because people lack the capacity to reach out. It is because, in many cases, they have been taught — by culture, by family, by social expectation — not to.
What Arab Cultural Norms Teach About Pain
In Arab societies, social rules around behaviour and emotional expression function almost like a second moral code. What is considered appropriate to share, what is expected to remain private, how a person is expected to present themselves to the world — these norms are absorbed from childhood, and they run deep.
One of the things these norms teach, often without anyone intending it, is that authentic emotional transparency is dangerous. That to be struggling is to be weak. That to admit you are not coping is to reflect poorly on yourself and on your family. That the correct response to pain is to manage it quietly.
This is not a criticism of Arab culture — every culture has blind spots when it comes to mental health, and Arab culture contains extraordinary warmth, communal support, and spiritual resilience. But these norms, when applied to psychological pain, can create a specific kind of silence. People learn to maintain a polished exterior. They learn to answer "how are you?" with "I'm fine." And they carry what is actually happening somewhere no one can see it.
This is why it is not a contradiction when someone takes their own life and the people closest to them say they never knew.
The Warning Signs
A pervasive negative worldview. This is not ordinary pessimism or a bad week. It is a consistent, deeply held belief that things will not get better — for them specifically, not just in general.
Social withdrawal. A person moving toward crisis often begins to pull back from the relationships they previously maintained. They become harder to reach. They decline invitations. They grow quieter.
Increased substance use. Alcohol or other substances give a person the psychological permission to act on thoughts they would otherwise suppress. Escalating substance use — particularly in someone who is already struggling — lowers the inhibitions that have been holding an internal crisis at bay.
Talking about it. This is perhaps the most important sign — and the one most often dismissed. When someone says "I can't go on," "there's no point," or speaks about death even abstractly, take it seriously. The belief that asking about suicide plants the idea is not supported by evidence. What is supported is that when people reach out, even obliquely, they are often reaching for help in the only way that feels available to them.
The Gender Paradox
Women have significantly higher rates of suicide attempts. Men have significantly higher rates of completed suicides.
Men in many cultures — particularly in Arab societies — face even stronger pressure to appear capable and in control. This means that when men are struggling, they are less likely to reach out, less likely to seek therapy, and more likely to have already reached a point of serious crisis before anyone around them knows. The social permission that women have to express emotion and vulnerability is a protective factor. The absence of that permission for men is a risk factor.
This is not about biology. It is about what we allow ourselves and each other to say.
What to Do If You Are Worried About Someone
Ask directly — not "are you okay?" but something more specific: "I've noticed you seem different lately. Are you having thoughts of hurting yourself?" This question does not plant ideas. It opens a door.
In the UAE, the mental health crisis line is 800-HOPE (800-4673), available via call and WhatsApp.
If you are in Dubai or the UAE and you or someone close to you is struggling, professional support is available. As a DHA Licensed Clinical Psychologist, I work with individuals navigating depression, burnout, grief, and complex emotional pain.
About Ms. Sarah El Nabulsi
Ms. Sarah El Nabulsi, M.Sc., M.A., M.A. is a DHA Licensed Clinical Psychologist (License No. DHA-75083705) based in Dubai, and UAE Director of the Transcendental Meditation Organization. She has been featured on MBC, MBC1, Sky News Arabia, Dubai TV, and BBC Arabic, and is the founder of the online courses Anxiety 101 (Level 1) and Master Yourself (Level 2).
Related reading: Why Arabs Repress Emotions — and What It Costs Us
Publish it when you're ready, then send me the URL and I'll move to the schema update. Also — before I build the blocks, I still need the emotions blog URL. Do you have that handy?
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